Saturday, September 05, 2015

Thought for the Day

I have determined by rigorous scientific, philosophical, mathematical, juridical, and alchemical analysis that in order to make any writing advice actually true, you have to add 'when it is awesome' or 'except when it is awesome', as appropriate. It's not always easy to tell what's awesome and what's merely striking or different or pseudo-awesome, but if you can't tell what's awesome, no writing advice is going to help you, anyway, except by accident.

Just some examples:

"Never mix metaphors except when it is awesome."
"Never use a long word when a short word would do, except when it is awesome."
"Kill your darlings, except when they are awesome."
"Write what you know when it is awesome."
"Cut out all those exclamation marks, except when they are awesome."
"Don't edit while writing your first draft, except when it is awesome."
"Avoid wordiness, except when it is awesome."
"Be daring, when it is awesome."
"Know your genre when it is awesome."
"Show, don't tell, except when it is awesome."
"Revise your work, except when it is awesome."
"Never use a verb other than 'said' to carry dialogue, except when it is awesome."
"Write in the way comfortable to you, when it is awesome."
"Trust your readers, when they are awesome."
"Read a lot, when it is awesome."

And, finally, "Don't take writing advice seriously except when it is awesome."